Jen Shah Provides First-Person Account of the Day She Reported to Prison: ‘I Was Having an Anxiety Attack’

It’s been about a month since Jen Shah turned herself in to begin her six-year prison sentence — and in a new Instagram post she details her final moments as a free woman.

via People:

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City‘s husband, Sharrieff, hopped on her Instagram account Thursday to share her first journal entry since entering Bryan Federal Prison Camp (FPC) in Texas. Explaining the delay for her first-hand account, her husband said “there are individuals that review every single email and physical letter that goes out of that facility as well as comes in” at “most federal facilities around the country.” And because of that, he noted it “takes just a little time for inmates to send their correspondence.”

In the journal entry, Shah reflected on the emotional drive to the prison — and the tearful goodbyes she shared with her husband as well as her youngest son Omar.

“Two miles from Bryan Federal Prison Camp (FPC), I could not breathe and my hands went numb. I knew I was having an anxiety attack,” Shah, 49, wrote. “I made Coach pull over because our reception was poor while driving and I was not able to FaceTime my oldest baby. We finally connected, I saw his face, and I cried so hard until he reassured me that it would be okay. I didn’t think I’d make it through [the day].”

Shah said it “felt surreal” driving to Brayn FPC as she was “just minutes away from having to surrender,” calling it her “worst fear” as the “unimaginable was about to happen.”

“We approached the gates and were told to pull into a parking stall next to a white van. It all happened so fast. There was a guard waiting outside of our SUV, and two more officers approached, who I later found out was the Captain,” she explained. “I leaned over to the seat next to me and hugged Omar as tight as I could and cried as I buried my head in his chest and held him as tight as I could not wanting to face [the] reality that this would be the last time I hugged him for a while.”

“Sharrieff opened the back passenger seat, and I turned to embrace him; hugging him as if holding him harder would somehow erase this horrible nightmare,” she continued. “I wanted to remember his embrace, his smell, his touch. I held his face in both of my hands. As [I] looked into his eyes, tears streaming down my face, I told him he is the love of my life and I love him more than anything.”

Shah had “seconds” to express her love for her husband “while officers stand there silently urging you to move quickly.” For her, it felt as if her world was “ending.”

After the Bravolebrity and her loved ones embraced in a group hug, an officer escorted her toward the prison. She was then questioned about the items in her clear plastic bag, which was meant to hold the essential items she could take with her to Bryan FPC. She’s allowed to keep some items, including her medications and the papers containing her prescription, but she was prohibited from bringing in her contact list, Quran and driver’s license. She returned the banned items to her husband.

“I felt so alone and my husband and son were only 2 steps away from me,” she said.

Shah had one last goodbye with her family before being escorted away. While walking off, she saw her husband and son “watching me both still crying.” She prayed to God at that moment, “asking for strength” as she didn’t know how she’d made it through.

“We then walk across the yard to open the doors where my reality will now be Federal Prison Camp. I turn to get one last glance at my husband and son. I wave at them for the last time before I enter the doors,” she continued. “My entire body is numb, I feel like my life is ending, and I am truly scared. I want to run back into my husband’s arms because I know he will make this nightmare end.”

Added Shah, “I feel physically sick. I feel like I don’t belong here. I thought I could do this but I’ve decided I can’t. I want to go home right now, but I know that is impossible. Please Allah help me, please.”

Shah reported to prison on Feb. 17 to serve 6.5 years after being arrestedtwo years earlier for running a nationwide telemarketing fraud scheme. Though she initially pleaded not guilty in April 2021, her assistant Stuart Smith pled guilty in November 2021. And while Shah initially maintained her innocence, she reversed her plea in July 2022.

Before reporting to prison, Shah’s attorney Priya Chaudhry spoke out on her behalf in a statement to PEOPLE.

“Jen Shah’s resolve to make her victims whole and to turn her life around is unyielding,” the statement read. “She is committed to serving her sentence with courage and purpose, fueled by her desire to make amends for the hurt she has caused and to help others in her new community. No obstacle will deter Jen from making the most of her time in prison and she’s determined to make restitution to those whose lives she has impacted.”

Shah will have five years of supervision after her release.

She’s a tough girl. She’ll be alright.

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