The English language is drunk, and comedy sketches like ‘When the Whole Crew Is Stupid, Episode 2′ illustrate this factual opinion to perfection

OPINION: Nothing brings me more joy than well-executed, culturally relevant, homie-next-door comedy sketches that highlight the inanity of everyday conventions. 

Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.

To know me is to know that I will defend the use of the word “conversate” until my body is devoid of life. It’s one of my favorite words, not because it’s special, but because of the reaction it elicits from so many people who feel linguistically attacked at its mere utterance. Many people feel like “conversate” isn’t a word, which is odd since the very sources that folks adhere to determine what does, in fact, constitute a word, consider “conversate” to be, in fact, a legitimate word.

Now, me, personally, I think if you can say and spell something, and folks know what you mean when you say it, then whatever you said is a word. Communication is about the exchange of ideas, and I don’t think it’s important to get caught up in how that happens. We, the Black people, are too creative to be limited by the constraints of an ever-fluid and changing language regiment. 

This brings us to one of my absolute favorite sketch series, “When The Whole Crew Is Stupid,” and one episode in particular, “When The Whole Crew Is Stupid, Episode 2.” 

Here’s some background. In episode one, the comedians — all brilliant for their incisive and hilariously on-point obliteration of just how inconsistent the English language can be — get into a spirited debate about the plural form of “mouse.” They argue about the plural form of mice — is it miceses or mouseses … or just mice? They then proceed to argue about the plural of goose. It’s a quick two-minute video that ALSO highlights the very real arguments homies get into on a daily basis. What makes this first sketch so funny also is how it highlights how real arguments work: there’s usually a straight man who knows the “truth” and a bunch of others — likely conspiracy theorists — who confront the “truth” with their sometimes very limited knowledge but also happen to highlight inconsistencies that have no answer. And because of this, sometimes you hit gold. 

The comedians involved in episode two — Bigg Jah, Minks, Jay Ali and Barry Brewer Jr. — are a subset of a fluid group of comedians on YouTube who make a ton of hilarious sketches about relationships, life, sex and, on occasion, provide social commentary on the world. Such brings us to episode two. Minks, Jay Ali and Barry Brewer Jr. are on a street corner having a laugh when Bigg Jah walks up to them a street corner and tells Barry Brewer (the straight man and the one who clearly knows better) that he was right about mice, that “mice” is already plural. His girl did some research, at which point, he accepted it as truth. Jahh, a newly informed man, decides he must pay that knowledge forward with his nieces and nephews and shares that he taught them that it’s “mouse to mice, goose to geese … and moose to meese.” 

I’m sure you can see where this is going. Barry Brewer, who knows that moose is both singular and plural, decides to point that out to the group and, well, shenanigans ensue. Of course, Brewer, being the wet blanket that he is (as is often the case with the rules of English), manages to annoy the homies because it DOES sound like the rules make no sense. Spoiler alert: They don’t. 

This sends the crew into an argument with an increasingly frustrated Brewer about the plural form of house, which is confusingly not “hice.” Listen, as a person who will argue with you until you’re blue in the face about how drunk I think English is, sketches like this one warm my heart and soul. English is confusing and it is inconsistent, and I get annoyed by people who have decided that every other inconsistent facet of life is up for debate but get caught up in “THAT AIN’T A WORD.” Now, the reason we do this is because we use language as a barometer for how smart or unsmart people might be. And when folks don’t speak English “correctly” we judge them for it and make assumptions. The problem with that is language is fluid and always has been. 

At some point in time, people decided what things would be called and we all just accepted it, and then folks decided how words would be pluralized, etc. and even if it was done seemingly on a case-by-case basis, folks all seem to accept this. Except, that makes no sense; why isn’t language, a thing that absolutely has morphed billions of times since the dawn of words, able to be molded in real time? Why do folks get so caught up in “the right way” to speak or communicate? I don’t know. I’m not somebody who gets caught up in that. 

It’s why I love this sketch and revisit it on an almost weekly basis since I first discovered it. It speaks exactly to cultural and societal nonsense. And I love it. This is how I like my comedy. Shouts out to all of the comedians involved and everybody who gets as annoyed with the English language as I do. You are my people.

Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio. He writes very Black things and drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest), but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said: “Unknown” (Blackest).

Make sure you check out the Dear Culture podcast every Thursday on theGrio’s Black Podcast Network, where I’ll be hosting some of the Blackest conversations known to humankind. You might not leave the convo with an afro, but you’ll definitely be looking for your Afro Sheen! Listen to Dear Culture on TheGrio’s app; download it here.

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