Bi-Curious vs. Bisexual: The Rundown on Two Conflated Terms in the LGBTQIA+ Community

The terms bisexual and bi-curious get mixed up a lot, mostly because people don’t always know the difference. A lot of people figuring out their sexuality know what they like (or at least have a solid idea), but the whole label thing can feel intimidating. No one wants to put themselves in a box they’re not sure fits, and there’s nothing wrong with that!

If you’re not 100% sure where you land on the spectrum, don’t stress. Not fitting into a category doesn’t make your experiences any less valid. And for those who just want a clear breakdown of what it means to be bisexual or bi-curious, whether for yourself or to understand others…let’s get into it.

What does it mean to be bi-curious?

Being bi-curious means you’re open to the idea of exploring bisexuality but haven’t necessarily defined your sexuality yet. Maybe you’ve always been attracted to one gender but are curious about what it would be like to explore something different. It’s also possible that you haven’t had the chance to figure it all out yet. No rush. No pressure.

Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D., explained the concept well to Health in June 2022.

“The term bi-curious really is designed to help people identify a burgeoning or existing curiosity without really committing to any kind of identity around their sexuality, she shared.That’s the distinction between being bi-curious and bisexual.”

A lot of people, especially those who identify as straight, explore bisexuality as part of self-discovery. Think about Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”; she had a moment, figured out how she felt, and kept it moving. While she liked the moment, she identifies as more bi-curious and gender fluid instead of bisexual. Some people try something once, love it, and explore it further. Others realize, “Eh, not for me,” and go back to whatever they were doing before. That’s the beauty of curiosity — you get to decide what feels right for you.

Let’s be clear: bi-curiosity isn’t limited to one gender. Anyone can experience it, no matter where they started on the sexuality spectrum. Some people explore and realize they’re bisexual. Others just learn a little more about themselves and move on. Either way, it’s valid.

What does it mean to be bisexual?

Bisexuality, on the other hand, isn’t just about curiosity; it’s a deeper, more consistent attraction to more than one gender. A bisexual person can form romantic or sexual connections with different genders, whether that’s men, women, nonbinary folks, or anyone in between. It’s not about “phases” or “just experimenting” — it’s a real, valid identity.

Unlike bi-curiosity, bisexuality isn’t about figuring things out. Bisexual folks know they’re attracted to more than one gender and are cool with it. Despite what some people might think, you don’t have to be equally attracted to every gender to be bisexual. Some bisexual people lean more one way than the other, and that’s totally normal.

But, of course, bisexuality comes with its fair share of misconceptions:

• “It’s just a phase.” Nope, that’s not how that works.
• “Bisexual people are just greedy or hypersexual.” Also no. Attraction doesn’t equal an all-you-can-eat buffet.
• “Bisexuality isn’t real.” Yeah, tell that to the millions of bisexual people living their best lives and helping bi-curious playmates explore.

At the end of the day, understanding the difference between bi-curiosity and bisexuality helps create a more accepting and supportive space. No one should feel pressured to figure everything out overnight, and everyone’s experience is different. Whether you’re bi-curious, bisexual, or just here to learn, the most important thing is to respect people’s identities and experiences.

Sexuality is about connection, exploration, and self-discovery. Labels can help, but they’re not rules. They’re just ways to understand ourselves a little better. So, wherever you land, just know that it’s all good.

Do you identify as bi-curious or bisexual? Let’s chat in the comment section below.

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