Not That Kind of MLM: What LGBTQ+ Communities Mean When They Say ‘MLM’

The term MLM is floating all over the timeline, and it means more than one thing depending on who you ask. Some folks hear MLM and think of “multi-level marketing,” while others—especially in queer spaces—know it as “men loving men.” Two letters, whole different vibes. Despite sounding corporate, MLM’s meaning in LGBTQIA+ slang has nothing to do with business. MLM is an acronym that stands for “men loving men.”

Let’s break down the term, where its used, and whether there’s a difference between MLM and gay.

“MLM” means Men loving men.

Men loving men (MLM) is shorthand for male same-sex attraction — and no, it has nothing to do with pyramid schemes. It simply means men loving men in a romantic or sexual way. The term has become popular in queer communities, as an alternative to just saying “gay,” because it can include anyone who’s male-aligned and into men. It’s a handy internet acronym (often seen in hashtags or profiles) that signals the same idea as WLW (“women loving women”) for lesbians and bisexual women.

MLM has been especially popular in communities of color. LGBTQIA+ glossaries and pride organizations point out that “men loving men” is commonly used in Black and Brown queer spaces. We Are Family says that MLM is “commonly used by communities of color to denote the attraction of men to men.”

Netizens may see MLM on Black queer blogs, Twitter threads, TikTok bios, etc., where someone might say, “I’m MLM and proud” or hashtag #MLM. People often write “MLM” in bios and chats, even if they’d just say “I’m gay” to friends. In other words, it’s kind of a savvy internet shorthand. Folks use it as a way to signal to others online, “hey, I’m a man into men” without spelling out a single sexual identity.

There are differences between “MLM” and gay men.

The difference between someone identifying as “gay” and “MLM” is very simple. In one sense, “gay” is a specific orientation —men only attracted to men. But, MLM is broader. The word “gay” describes someone whose attraction is only or primarily to people of the same gender. Whereas MLM includes all men who are attracted to other men, plus those who are also attracted to other genders.

In practical terms, that means a bisexual guy who loves men can proudly say he’s MLM without choosing “gay.” A transgender man attracted to men is also MLM. Even men who aren’t sure which label fits them can use MLM as an umbrella term. Western Washington University’s LGBTQ+ Resource Center defines MLM as a man who loves men and explains that the term captures a range of male sexualities beyond just gay. They highlight that it includes bisexual, pansexual, and other same-gender-loving men.

This inclusive umbrella can make a real difference socially. Saying “MLM” can feel more inviting to bi or trans men who might not identify as gay. So if you see MLM on someone’s profile or hear it in conversation, don’t let the “marketing” connotation fool you – it’s all about love.

Have you ever used “MLM” to describe yourself or someone else? Why’d you choose it over gay?

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