The GOP Is Trying To ‘Judy Winslow’ Mitch McConnell, And They Think We Don’t Notice [Op-Ed]

Alright, people, it has been at least 78 days since Sen. Mitch McConnell has been seen publicly, roughly 34 days since the last time someone representing him released a so-called proof-of-life photo, which many people didn’t think proved he was alive, and about 21 days since he put out a public statement that wasn’t delivered via video so we could all be sure the good senator is still alive.

But you know what? At this point, I’m not even asking whether or not McConnell has gone to the great retirement pond probably-not-in-the-sky. I’m not asking whether he’s still alive. Instead, I just want to know what the GOP strategy is for dealing with his absence. Because congressional Republicans seem to be dealing with it by not dealing with it at all. They’re not even really acknowledging the mystery. It’s as if Mitch McConnell walked up a staircase one day and never came back down again.

So, here’s the real question: Is the GOP trying to “Judy Winslow” Mitch McConnell?

If you’re a Black person who grew up in or before the 1990s, I probably don’t need to explain that Judy Winslow was the youngest child of Carl and Harriette Winslow from the hit ’90s sitcom Family Matters. The show aired for nine seasons, but at some point in Season 4, Judy suddenly vanished. Her character vanished from the cast without any explanation in the script. She wasn’t killed off the show like Roseanne. Her character didn’t go off to college like Denise Huxtable. Judy just went upstairs one day and never came back — and I think Republicans are trying to do McConnell the same way.

And yes, ’90s sitcom nerds, I know it’s technically a myth that Judy’s last appearance on the show ended with her walking up those stairs, and her last episode was actually Episode 19 of Season 4, titled “Mama’s Wedding.” The point is, the showrunners just kind of CTRL+ALT+DELETED her whole character from the series, and that’s what Republicans are doing with McConnell. So, for all intents and purposes, Judy Winslow and Mitch McConnell may have both gone to the same place…

But nah, man, we can’t just let the GOP quietly un-tag McConnell from the U.S. Senate. We can’t just let Senate Republicans “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” that man. The GOP is holding onto a slim majority in both chambers of Congress, and Republicans know how dismal their prospects of maintaining that control after the midterms are, making McConnell’s notable absence just another problem they don’t need — so they’re trying to make said absence less notable by just pretending not to notice it.

But we’re watching, and we notice everything. They couldn’t make Aunt Viv light-skinned or make Judy Winslow disappear without us realizing shenanigans were afoot, and they’re not slipping McConnell’s quiet exit from Congress (and possibly the mortal world) either.

We’re on to you, GOP. Where’s Mitch McConnell?

SEE ALSO:

QTNA: Where In The World Is Senator Mitch McConnell?

The Internet Isn’t Buying The Mitch McConnell Proof Of Life Photo