I was in a car accident with my kids and it was the scariest moment of my life

OPINION: I’ve been in a car accident before, but having my kids in the car as I saw the impending doom took my fear to a whole new level.

Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.

About a month ago (maybe even to the day), I was in a car accident that totaled my tank of a car – a 2017 Chevrolet Suburban. I bought this vehicle back in 2017 for two reasons: one, it could haul my family around (which at that time was my wife and three kids—we now have four kids); and two, because of the tremendous safety features. I figured anything that big and that heavy with airbags out the wazoo and all types of safety features and enhancements was as good of a bet as any. It was a tremendously expensive vehicle, but I also determined that it was the last vehicle I was going to buy, for myself, for a long time. 

Fast forward to the end of June, and I’m on the way to drop my kids and a family friend’s child off at summer camp in Bethesda, Maryland, which is about a 45-minute drive from my house. After dropping off the family friend’s son, I ventured with my 8-, 7- and 2-year-olds in tow towards the next dropoff location about five minutes away. 

What happened next is probably a few steps right in front of most parents’ fears. I was driving south on a four-lane road–two lanes in my direction and two in the other direction separated by a grassy median with very old trees–when a car merging from the highway into my lanes somehow didn’t see my car or wasn’t paying attention and attempted to merge into my lane. It hit my truck with such force that it forced us off the road into the median, barreling head-on into a tree. 

I’ve been in car accidents before, but I’ve never literally watched as a tree got closer and closer as we rammed it. And the scariest part is that I saw it all happening in slow motion, realized I couldn’t do anything about it, and all I could do was pray that my children would be OK because we were going to hit a tree no matter what. It all happened in like three to four seconds but it might as well have lasted an eternity because the fear I had in those moments was the most fear I’ve ever felt in my life. 

I was so afraid that my kids were going to be harmed or even worse…well, I won’t say it. I also knew that once I hit the tree the airbags were going to deploy, and I’ve read enough about folks in car accidents to know how many folks are knocked unconscious by airbags. I tried to sit as far back as I could and right on cue the airbag popped out and exploded. I had the wherewithal to think about not passing out (which I didn’t), but the impact was so startling that I know, for a split second, I was like, “This is it.” Thankfully, it wasn’t. The car bounced off the tree and came to a rest, and I immediately got my bearings after the airbag exploded and burned my arms, and looked around for my kids. 

I’ve never smelled an exploded airbag, so I thought my car was on fire and I kicked open my door to try to get my kids out. Amazingly, they sustained the most minor of injuries. My 2-year-old didn’t even drop his iPad. Apparently, those safety features were no joke. My kids, who were also in their car seats –I’m an ardent believer in car seats–were able to get out safely with the help of the community of people who rushed over to help us and make sure we were OK.  I owe all of them a tremendous debt of gratitude.

Unfortunately, my vehicle was totaled, and if you know what it takes to total out a Suburban you understand how lucky we are and were. But the safety features came through. The car didn’t look nearly as bad as the damage, and the kids and I were, and are, physically safe. The three kids in the car still have some emotional scars from it. My 2-year-old talks about daddy’s car crashing into a tree often. But more with amusement. 

Anyway, I keep thinking about the accident and how much worse it could have been and how thankful and blessed we were to have come out of it intact. And I also think about how maybe that tree stopped it from being worse. If we hadn’t hit that tree, we’d have entered oncoming traffic. It’s amazing how much you can be scared of something after it happened. All I know is that I now have experienced one of my worst fears as a parent: getting into a bad car accident with my kids in the car. I pray it doesn’t happen again, but I’m thankful that we’re all OK.

Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio. He writes very Black things and drinks very brown liquors, and is pretty fly for a light guy. His biggest accomplishment to date coincides with his Blackest accomplishment to date in that he received a phone call from Oprah Winfrey after she read one of his pieces (biggest), but he didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said: “Unknown” (Blackest).

Make sure you check out the Dear Culture podcast every Thursday on theGrio’s Black Podcast Network, where I’ll be hosting some of the Blackest conversations known to humankind. You might not leave the convo with an afro, but you’ll definitely be looking for your Afro Sheen! Listen to Dear Culture on TheGrio’s app; download it here.

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