Four lessons we can all learn from Kelly Rowland’s gender reveal of Beyoncé’s baby 

Twelve years later, Kelly Rowland still regrets accidentally revealing the gender of Beyoncé’s first child to the world, reminding us of the importance of boundaries. 

In 2011, Kelly Rowland experienced a media moment that has her saying “uh oh” to this day. 

Rowland revealed one of her biggest-ever mistakes in a recent episode of the “Yeah, I F**** That Up” podcast. The Destiny’s Child star reflected on the moment she slipped up and accidentally revealed the gender of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s first child, Blue Ivy.

“Oh, my God. When I made a mistake and told the sex of [Beyoncé]’s baby when she was pregnant with Blue,” Rowland said on the podcast, per People.

At the time, Beyoncé had revealed her pregnancy with Blue Ivy Carter a few months prior while performing “Love on Top” at the MTV Music Awards. Following that iconic moment, the music powerhouse was tight-lipped about her pregnancy, as she is with pretty much everything else. However, Rowland couldn’t contain her excitement, reportedly telling Bang Showbiz:

“I’m so happy for my sister and her husband. They’re so happy in this moment right now, as they should be. They’ve made a little bundle of love; I’m so excited for them,” said Rowland, per Billboard. “I have no idea what I’m going to buy Beyoncé at the baby shower because Jay is going to buy that little girl every single thing possible. She won’t be spoiled, but she will be very well looked after.” 

Though the mishap appears to be water under the bridge, 12 years later, Rowland still thinks “that was the worst moment ever.” 

“It was bad because it was no one’s business,” she added. “I felt terrible because it’s not my news. It was honestly the worst. It wasn’t my news to share, and I didn’t mean it like that. The ‘she’ just kind of slipped out.”

These days, there are mixed feelings about gender reveals. While many parents have opted out of grandiose events, others have gone viral for their unique announcements. Recently, a couple attending the Renaissance World Tour in Cologne, Germany, got Beyoncé’s assistance for their gender reveal. 

“I wanna do this right because since the beginning of the show, I’ve seen this sign that says: ‘Do my gender reveal,’ ” said the “Break My Soul” artist, briefly pausing the concert to assist the couple. “I just want to do it right! Do I have to open the envelope? Can somebody hand me the envelope, please?” 

Regardless of whether you’re aiming for Beyoncé to announce the arrival of your baby girl in the middle of her concert or are far more reticent, everyone should have the choice of how and when they share their personal milestones. Events like engagements, pregnancies, career changes, etc., are significant life moments — but while they are exciting to witness, they are also intimate and special. As a friend or family member, respecting and protecting your loved one’s boundaries is crucial. Here are four basic rules of etiquette to remember when celebrating your loved one’s milestones: 

1. Spare everyone the awkwardness

In an age where gender is increasingly recognized on a spectrum, gender reveals can feel a little awkward. With 63% of Americans supporting the Equality Act, a law designed to fight discrimination based on gender and sexual identity, there has been a rise in parents who have deviated from the traditional declaration of their child’s gender. In addition to the fact that some parents simply don’t want to know, spilling the beans on their child’s gender can subject them to a series of (easily avoidable) uncomfortable situations.

2. If they haven’t said anything publicly, you shouldn’t 

Whether via social media or in conversation with that one nosy auntie, please don’t pull a Kelly Rowland and share other people’s news. As she said, moments like these are no one else’s business, and if you have the privilege of knowing, you should treat it as just that — a privilege. An easy way to avoid this is by asking, “Who else have you told?” after your friend shares the news with you.  

3. If you’re unsure how they would feel about it, just don’t do it 

In these instances, the famous phrase “Ask forgiveness, not permission” does not apply. The last thing you want to do is make your loved one feel like their privacy has been violated. Instead, remember this adage: “Doubt means don’t.”

4. Check in with them before running to share the news on social media 

Our widespread dependence on social media makes posting news in real time second nature. However, social media is accessible to everyone. By sharing another person’s milestones, you potentially open the floodgates to messages and inquiries they may want to avoid dealing with during a time they wish to celebrate privately.

At the end of the day, it is their special moment, and while they no doubt appreciate your enthusiasm, they’ll love you even more for allowing them to celebrate it at their own pace. 

Haniyah Philogene is a multimedia storyteller and Lifestyle reporter covering all things culture. With a passion for digital media, she goes above and beyond to find new ways to tell and share stories.

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