White House Offers Weak, Passive-Aggressive Response To ‘SNL’ Sketch Mocking Trump And Hegseth
The fine folks at Saturday Night Live had a good time mocking President Donald Trump, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, and the rest of this MAGA (Mediocre Authoritarians Grope America) administration on Saturday. The show’s Season 51 premiere was kicked off by guest host Bad Bunny, who currently has MAGAts across America getting their Klanderoos in a bunch over him being tapped to headline the Super Bowl halftime show next year.
The Puerto Rican megastar wasn’t there to spare anyone’s white and eternally fragile feelings either, which is why he appeared to respond to the MAGA meltdown over him potentially singing all of his songs in Spanish by, well, delivering a few lines of his monologue in Spanish, and telling viewers, “If you didn’t understand what I just said, you have four months to learn.”
“I’m really excited to be doing the Super Bowl, I know that people all around the world who love my music are also happy,” Bad Bunny began, before switching to Spanish to say the following:
“Especially all of the Latinos and Latinas in the world here in the United States who have worked to open doors. It’s more than a win for myself; it’s a win for all of us. Our footprints and our contribution in this country, no one will ever be able to take that away or erase it.”
Then he basically told people if they’re worried about not understanding his native language, they can either download Rosetta Stone, or they can suck it.
The episode began with a cold open skit starring comedian Colin Jost, who played a satirical version of Hegseth that was only just barely an exaggeration of the actual idiot who renamed the Department of Defense the “Department of War,” when he should have renamed it the “Department of Whoever Hacks My Signal Chat First.” Unfortunately, the White House doesn’t consult me on such matters.
Actually, the intro was almost as funny as Jost’s performance.
“Earlier this week, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth had the brilliant idea to gather all of our nation’s top generals in one place at one time,” a narrator says. “And to throw our enemies off the scent, he told them exactly where and when it would happen.”
“Welcome, generals,” an officer said while introducing fake-but-kind-of-real Hegseth to the stage. “You have all dedicated yourselves to defending this nation, and as a reward, you will now be yelled at by a former Fox News host.”
Again, this is some of the most non-satirical satire we have ever seen.
“I summon all of you here today to address a serious problem, OK?” Jost’s Hegseth says, “Our military is gay as hell! And I’m not just talking about the Navy!
“Thanks to failed liberal policies, our military has never been gayer, and yet, it’s also never been fatter!” he continued. “Make that make sense, amirite?”
As fake Hegseth waits for a laugh, the camera cuts to real footage of generals and admirals sitting stone-faced at the actual meeting Hegseth called, which — and I cannot emphasize this enough — was just as ridiculous as the SNL version.
At one point, a fictional version of Trump, played by comedian James Austin Johnson, comes on stage and says, “I’m just here keeping my eye on SNL. Making sure they don’t do anything too mean about me.”
“Here we are, SNL season 51. Should have called it at 50, right? So sad to see something get old and confused and still demand your constant attention. Oh well! But they better be on their best behavior; otherwise, they’re going to have to answer to my attack dog at the FCC, Brandon Carr,” fake Trump says, in reference to the very real pressure the FCC put on ABC to punish late-night host Jimmy Kimmel for making jokes at the real Trump’s expense.
Anyway, what was arguably even more comical than this episode of SNL was the White House’s weak clapback against the show.
“Reacting to this would require me to waste my time watching it,” White House spokeswoman Abigail Jackson told Entertainment Weekly on Sunday. “And like the millions of Americans who have tuned out from SNL, I have more entertaining things to do — like watch paint dry.”
Awwww, did Jackson try to get a little jokey-joke in while pretending she and the White House are unbothered by the SNL sketch? No, no, it’s definitely a possibility that the show’s producers might put Abby in their writer’s room if she ever decides to stop writing the comedy that White House spokespeople write to spin Trump’s MAGA-nanimous idiocy.
Honestly, it’s too late for the members of the Trump administration to act like they don’t care that pop culture is one of the many cultures that oppose them. Hell, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem showed her hand when she responded to Bad Bunny headlining the halftime show by launching into a mini-rant about how ICE will be prowling around the Super Bowl looking for potential detainees, and how the NFL “won’t be able to sleep at night,” as if the entire league is a sentient being that will suffer insomnia over its decision to spotlight Bunny, who, lest we forget, is a U.S. citizen.
“We’ll be all over that place. We are going to enforce the law. You shouldn’t be coming to the Super Bowl unless you are a law-abiding American citizen,” Noem said, issuing a warning no government official ever felt compelled to issue when the halftime show headliner wasn’t a Spanish-speaking American.
“They suck, and we’ll win, and God will bless us, and we’ll stand and be proud of ourselves at the end of the day,” Noem told conservative commentator Benny Johnson, who asked her what she thought of the league for platforming Bunny. “They won’t be able to sleep at night because they don’t know what they believe, and they’re so weak, we’ll fix it.”
Calling the NFL “weak” while threatening to weaponize the federal government against fans because the prospect of Bad Bunny on the Super Bowl stage hurts your feelings is not the flex she thinks it is, but whatever.
The whole administration is full of snowflakes who claim it’s everyone else who is overly sensitive.
Sad.
SEE ALSO:
Trump, Hegseth Meeting Was Loyalty Test For White Man’s Army
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