Vice President JD Vance Doesn’t Understand Ranked-Choice Voting

In the Arkham Asylum simulation that is America – you know the one in which the asylum is running the White House – the real live Vice President, the one that can’t make it through IKEA without inappropriately fondling the sofas, just admitted in front of God and err’body that he doesn’t know what ranked-choice voting is, and I want to burn it all to the ground. 

JD Vance was asked about ranked-choice voting, and he noted that he didn’t understand it and added that he’d just like things to be the easy way in which the person that gets the most votes wins and…I don’t know how to explain to him, and those like him, that the person with the most votes does win. 

Let me try and make this simple for the goddamn Vice President of the United States!

If you ever had a friend running to the store and they asked you if you want anything and you say, “Yeah, bring me a Pepsi, and if they don’t have that then bring me a Coke,” then you have rank choice voted. Ranked-choice voting is simply prioritizing the candidates in the manner in which you want to see them win the election. 

Proponents of rank choice voting argue that doing so would eliminate spoilers from upsetting the race. So say you really wanted to vote for seasonal asshole Jill Stein; she is literally the Pumpkin Spice of candidates who comes around every fall just to mess up voting, then you could vote for her and Kamala Harris could be your second choice. So when it becomes clear that Jill Stein isn’t going to win, those votes would then be moved to Kamala Harris, and therefore no damage has been done by casting a vote for someone you really wanted to vote for. 

What’s troubling isn’t that this process is being floated; it’s that the man who is the second in command and literally has access to the nuclear football should something happen to the current president and Epstein Island’s favorite guest doesn’t get this and has no shame in not knowing how things work while adding that he follows politics pretty closely. 

We need to bring back public flogging and shaming kids in class that read with the finger. It’s impossible to continue to be the land of the free and the home of the brave when we are afraid to call out grown men who aren’t reading on grade level. We used to be a civilized society, and now we’ve become proud members of the “it’s cool to not know anything” club. I bet Vance knows where to get his Maybelline TattooStudio eyeliner that doesn’t run when he cries about the woke mob.

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