Trump Says All Presidents Should Be Forced To Take Cognitive Tests…Then Boasts About His ‘THREE’ Terms In Office

On some level, President Donald Trump must realize he’s one wall short of a whole hallway, right? Like — he knows his elevator fails to go all the way to the top and instead, hovers around the 13th floor that doesn’t exist in reality, doesn’t he?

Just like a non-racist doesn’t usually have to go on a whole “I’m not racist” tour featuring all of his rent-a-Black friends, and a non-rapist, non-pedophile doesn’t need to shout “I’m not a rapist” or “I’m not a pedophile,” a person who is still spry and cognitively healthy does not need to keep reminding the world that he “ACED” all of his cognitive exams — unless they know deep down that they’re not playing with a whole deck.

Anyway, Trump would like to remind America that he aced “THREE” cognitive tests during his “THREE” terms in office, of which he has only had two, but don’t worry — that totally isn’t an indication that the president is losing what little grip his little baby hands were ever able to manage.

“Anybody running for President or Vice President should be forced to take a Cognitive Examination prior to entering the Race!” Trump declared via Truth Social on Thursday. “By doing so, we wouldn’t be surprised at people like Barack ‘Hussein’ Obama, or Sleepy Joe Biden, getting ‘ELECTED.’ Our Country would be a much better place! I took the Exam three times during my (‘THREE!’) Terms as President, and ACED IT ALL THREE TIMES — An Achievement that, even on a single Exam, according to the Doctors, has rarely been done before!”

First of all, at this point, somebody really needs to sit Trump down and ask him, “Are Barack ‘Hussein’ Obama and Sleepy Joe Biden in the room with us?”

Obama has been living in Trump’s head long enough to be president of the HOA there, and Trump literally can’t even write his name down without desperately looking for confirmation that Biden can’t do it better.

Mind you, neither Obama nor Biden ever even responds to their names being in Trump’s mouth in perpetuity. He might as well be getting into shouting matches with the photos of them that he keeps over his dartboards in the Oval Office.

So, seriously, maybe somebody needs to check and make sure Trump isn’t going through it like the kid from The Sixth Sense, talking to an imaginary behavioral therapist, whispering to him, “I see former presidents who are much, much better than me — even their signatures.”

And look, I’m no mental health professional, but I’d wager that his social media posts alone are riddled with red flags that might have whoever it is that tests cognitive abilities raising an eyebrow or two.

In fact, let’s just take a closer look at the post at hand and see if we think this is the message of a mentally well-adjusted man.

Trump wrote that if presidential candidates were required to take cognitive exams, “we wouldn’t be surprised at people like Barack ‘Hussein’ Obama, or Sleepy Joe Biden, getting ‘ELECTED,'” which is a weird way to phrase that sentence, as, grammatically, it indicates that Obama and Biden would still have been “ELECTED,” and no one would be surprised.

But, hey, before we even talk about Trump’s grammar, we really need to get down to the bottom of exactly how he thinks punctuation and capital letters work. Why is “ELECTED” in all caps and quotation marks? Why is the “THREE” in reference to the three terms he thinks he served in all caps, quotation marks, and parentheses? And this is how every Trump post looks: they’re just word salads that prove he doesn’t understand the most basic rules of written English.

Also, why has he gone from lying about the 2020 election being rigged against him to just imagining he served a second term in 2020 and is now on his third?

Hell, for all we know, Trump has just been hallucinating this whole time. Maybe that’s why he keeps imagining armies of dead people being registered to vote on sentient machines that hate him so much they rigged themselves to change his votes to Biden votes, while the election workers, those self-rigged machines, colluded with stuffed ballots in preparation for the attack of the killer mail-in votes. (MAGA supporters will say I sound crazy. Everyone else knows I’m not even exaggerating Trump’s voter fraud allegations that much.)

We know Trump keeps imagining crowd sizes that were larger than those of Martin Luther King Jr., and I’m just saying, if it turned out he’d been negotiating peace talks with himself this whole time, rather than Iranian officials, it would explain a lot.

Maybe his deteriorating mind really does have him seeing doctors who dress like Jesus.

Still, Trump insists that he “ACED” his cognitive exams “ALL THREE TIMES,” which may or may not include the time he mistook an MRI exam for an IQ test. At any rate, cognitive exams aren’t graded on a pass/fail spectrum like the kind of test you take in school, so when he says he “ACED” three of them, we can conclude that this president actually has no idea what tests are being administered to him on any given day.

Maybe the president has completely lost the plot, and he knows it, and posts like these are actually a cry for help. Just sayin’.

SEE ALSO:

Trump’s Signature Will Appear On US Paper Currency. But Why?

Are Donald Trump’s Statements, Social Media Posts Prolonging The Iran War?