Statue Mocking Trump And His Bone Spurs Installed On National Mall, And, Boy, Does He Deserve It

Just in time for Veterans Day, a statue has been installed at the National Mall to commemorate America’s favorite valor-stealing non-veteran, the commander-in-bone-spurs himself, President Donald Trump.

From the Washington Post:

The new statue of Trump, spray-painted gold, appeared on the National Mall, near the National Gallery of Art’s Sculpture Garden. The statue, erected two days before Veterans Day, depicts the president sitting, grimacing and clutching his right foot. Beneath Trump is a sign that reads “The Foot Soldier.”

“We honor the service and sacrifice of our Commander in Chief, Donald J. Trump. He’s a soldier in spirit, who marched to the front lines of dodging the draft, armed with a perfect diagnosis of bone spurs,” reads a plaque at the base of the statue. “We salute a leader who knows you can’t spell sacrifice without ‘I,’ and a warrior who reminds us that sometimes when you’re called to stand up, it’s best to just sit down and rest your feet.”

Trump received five deferments during the Vietnam War: four for his studies in college, and one for bone spurs in his feet.

According to the post, the people responsible for this MAGA-piece are part of a group of anonymous artists who go by the name The Secret Handshake. We’ve covered the group and its work before. In September of last year, the group installed a 12-foot faux-bronze statue at the National Mall of Trump and Jeffrey Epstein holding hands and skipping together.

In March of this year, the group took it a step further, erecting a Titanic-themed statue of Trump and Epstein depicted as Jack and Rose at the same location.

According to the Post, the group is also responsible for “a mock tribute to Trump from the world’s authoritarian leaders and a reproduction of the desk of former House speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-California) with a pile of fake excrement on it that ridiculed the Jan. 6, 2021, rioters who sought to overturn the 2020 election.”

Look, to be fair, at least the fine folks at the Secret Handshake are installing statues that are more aesthetically flattering to the president than “The Orange Plague,” aka “King of Injustice,” was unveiled inside the European Parliament in Strasbourg last month.

Oh, nah, don’t stare, averting your eyes now; take a full gander at Trump is all his golden, bloated, Jabba the Hutt-esque glory.

Anyway, White House spokesman Davis Ingle wasn’t too happy about the latest installment, telling the Post, “Trump Derangement Syndrome is a sick and incurable disease that has rotted the brains of these Democrat activists. President Trump will never waver in fighting for and protecting the American people.”

Oh, but he does waver. Five separate times during his life, he saw a draft coming, and he wavered to the left, wavered to the right, and wavered back like Neo dodging Matrix bullets. I’m pretty sure he stands at that forward angle the way he does because he’d been wavering to the front so long dodging drafts that he got stuck like that.

Look, even if you believe the group’s previous statues were unfair, because you don’t believe Trump and Epstein were brothers in arms around underage girls, you’d have to admit that a president who has claimed multiple times that he would’ve “won the Vietnam War in a week” if he were in charge — while in reality, he wouldn’t even fight in the war because he had to go to school and his feet hurt — deserves to be mocked in this way.

Here’s Trump defending his “Secretary of War,” Pete Hegseth, who is currently facing impeachment, by claiming absurdly that “he won the war in Iran,” and questioning why Congress doesn’t impeach “the gentlemen from Biden” or “the people who ran the Vietnam War.”

First of all, does Trump understand what an impeachment actually is? I mean, it happened to him twice, so he should, at the very least, understand that people who are already no longer in office can’t be impeached or removed from the offices they no longer occupy.

Also, the “gentlemen from Biden”? Would that be North Biden or South Biden?

According to The New York Times, Trump was referring to  Lloyd Austin, the nation’s first Black defense secretary and four-star general with a 41-year military career, who spent three and a half days — not “two weeks,” like Trump claimed — in the hospital before then-President Joe Biden and the White House were informed.

Yeah — there’s just no way Trump is out here claiming Austin, who, again, is no longer in office thanks to Hegseth, needs to be impeached over a three-day absence in a world where Mitch McConnell (kind of) exists.

Nah, we need more statues like this. He deserves all of them.

SEE ALSO:

Naked Trump Statue Temporarily Installed At European Parliament

Titanic-Themed Statue Of Trump And Epstein Erected At National Mall

Golden Statue Of Donald Trump Erected At US Capitol

Statue Of Trump And Epstein Erected On National Mall