Ron DeSantis Says Republicans Got Hit By A ‘Meteor Strike’ And Florida Somehow Survived

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is having trouble now that the rabbit has the firearm.

On Wednesday, the Republican who injured both hands carrying water for President Trump was openly struggling to explain his party’s devastating midterm losses, blaming everything from congressional stock trading to the Epstein files.

DeSantis (or DeIdiot, if you prefer) apparently believes the blue bumrush wasn’t an embrace of liberal ideology so much as a rejection of Republicans in Washington, Politico reports.

He called the results “close to an extinction-level event for Republicans,” but took comfort in the fact that Florida managed to hold onto its racist, misogynistic, and xenophobic voting habits, even with gas prices higher than Snoop Dogg hotboxing a SpaceX flight to Pluto.

“To call it a wave, I don’t think would be fully accurate,” DeSantis said during a press conference. “It’s the political equivalent of a meteor strike that went all around the United States, blue states, red states, everything in between. And the one state that was able to hold the line and withstand that is right here in the free state of Florida.”

DeSantis, who is about to become DeUnemployed in January thanks to term limits, also criticized Republicans for their tunnel vision on transgender issues and their inability to focus on kitchen-table concerns. He pointed to the party’s failure to address issues such as big tech regulation and the proliferation of artificial intelligence data centers — a particularly important concern for rural voters who don’t want massive warehouses popping up in their backyards.

And then there’s the Epstein files, which DeSantis suggested became a political liability for Republicans after members of Congress voted against releasing them.

“That’s a bad vote,” DeSantis said.

“You actually have people in Congress voting against release, when the attorney general said she had all this horrific stuff on her desk, and that people would be held accountable,” he added.

Well, look at that. DeSantis has discovered that voters care about things other than whatever bathroom a transgender person might use. He has also apparently figured out that protecting powerful people from scrutiny can be a bad political strategy.

Unfortunately, his sudden moment of clarity comes after the meteor has already hit. And boy, did it hit. And while Florida may have survived the Republican extinction event, DeSantis is running out of time to pretend he had nothing to do with the dinosaurs.

And more importantly, do Americans really claim Florida anyway?

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