Rep. Mike Johnson Wants Lee Greenwood To Replace Bad Bunny At The Super Bowl. Seriously…Lee Greenwood?
It has been just under two weeks since Puerto Rican superstar Bad Bunny was announced as the headliner for the Super Bowl LX halftime show, and the MAGA-fied Caucasian tears have not stopped flowing.
And, I mean, look, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about white conservatives across the internet wetting their Confederate flag-themed boxers over a Spanish-speaking artist headlining the halftime show, just as it was expected that Kendrick Lamar’s performance in February would have MAGA melanin-nots waving around their tiki-torches while searching their homes for their spare nooses. (I’m just guessing here.) What is relatively odd, however, is that members of a federal administration and congressional leaders feel compelled to weigh in on the issue when they’re supposed to be preoccupied with running the country, or, at the very least, figuring out how to navigate a government shutdown in the least damaging way.
Earlier this week, we reported that Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem got herself so flustered over the prospect of Bad Bunny performing the halftime show that she reflexively started blustering about how ICE would be “all over that place” and how the NFL “won’t be able to sleep at night” once the MAGA regime starts — oh, I don’t know — flooding the stadium with white tears and hiding all the rafts so those pesky immigrant NFL fans can’t paddle away.
Well, also this week, House Speaker Mike Johnson grabbed the salty white nationalist baton from Noem, telling reporters that Bad Bunny, arguably the biggest global pop star in the world, should be replaced by an 82-year-old country singer who you’d only be extensively familiar with if you take Bengay with your breakfast every morning after praying you haven’t soiled your American flag-themed bedsheets. (The Confederate flag-themed bedsheets would have clashed with the boxers.)
I mean, Johnson could have pulled any number of artists white people might not blow a gasket over out of his hat, and he chose Lee Greenwood, singer of the 1984 hit song “God Bless the U.S.A.” (Because I know y’all were about to Google him like I had to.)
“I didn’t even know who Bad Bunny was, but it sounds like a terrible decision in my view,” Johnson told a reporter, proving, once again, that MAGA conservatives don’t actually need to know anything about what they’re talking about to make a judgment call on it.
Johnson, of course, made it worse when asked to elaborate on his opinion.
“Well, it sounds like he’s not someone who appeals to a broader audience. And I think, you know, there’s so many eyes on the Super Bowl. A lot of young, impressionable children. And I think, you know, in my view, you would have Lee Greenwood or role models doing that. Not somebody like this,” he said.
See, this is how you know that when white conservatives are talking about the American collective, they really just mean white people.
In what world is Geenwood, who hasn’t had a hit song in roughly four decades, an artist who “appeals to a broader audience” than a global superstar whose accolades include three Grammy Awards, twelve Latin Grammy Awards, ten Billboard Music Awards, two MTV Video Music Awards, and six American Music Awards, among others?
Look, we get it, the musical taste of MAGA conservatives is the sonic equivalent of extra mayo on white Wonder Bread, and booking a halftime show headliner they would be happy with is quite the challenge. But the answer isn’t to swap out an artist who is loved around the world for one who will only be thoroughly enjoyed by the demographic that still owns a rotary phone and thinks a dip in a mudhole counts as a bath. Anyone who doesn’t want to see Bad Bunny perform can simply change the channel for the 12 minutes that the halftime show lasts. It’s really that simple.
Or, whatever, just keep crying about it while everyone else enjoys the show. We don’t really care.
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