Trump Defends Ramaswamy, Shows Off Cognitive Decline, And Lies About 2020 During Iowa Rally

President Donald Trump went to Sioux City, Iowa, on Thursday to rally Iowa Republicans, who face a more competitive midterm election than they’re used to. Now, this was a Trump rally like any other Trump rally, where Trump and his GOP sycophants remind the thinking world that their party has nothing to run on but fear, bigotry, lies, and, for reasons I will never understand, cult-like praise for the MAGA messiah himself.

But before we get into all of that, we really need to address the elephant, lion, bear, snake, and giraffe in the room, because Trump, once again, felt the need to tell his supporters about the cognitive exams his doctors keep making him take, the animals he’s tasked with identifying, and the fact that he thinks he has some sort of remarkable MAGA mind, because he can pass the kind of test most of us haven’t had to take since we were in pre-school using visual aids made by Mattel.

“You know, the first question — they have a lion, a snake, a giraffe, and a bear. And they say, ‘Which is the snake?’ … by the time you get to number five a lot of people are left out on the road,” he told his audience before going on to talk about how he “aces” the tests, despite how hard the math questions down the line get.

First of all, sir, we’ve seen you try to do math. Please, be for real.

But more to the point — and I’m just going to go ahead and switch to all-caps for this — WHEN IS SOMEBODY GOING TO PULL HIM TO THE SIDE AND TELL HIM THAT HAVING TO UNDERGO REGULAR COGNITIVE EXAMS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN???

Also, does he realize how many times we’ve heard about these animal tests he’s so proud of?

Also, here’s our super smart stable genius of a president on the difficulties of operating lawnmowers.

Anyway, other highlights of the rally include Trump demanding that Democratic Rep. Ilhan Omar resign over imaginary crimes he claims she committed, as if the investigation he has launched into her immigration status has exposed any wrongdoing whatsoever. The call for her resignation prompted the crowd to chant “Lock her up,” echoing what he had them chant during his first-term campaign at Hilary Clinton, who also hadn’t committed an arrestable offense.

Trump’s call for Omar to resign wasn’t just based on his administration’s big nothing of an investigation into her immigration paperwork; it was also based on “breaking news” that she had not used her “real name” when she was elected and sworn into Congress, which is apparently based on a Fox News report, citing people familiar with the investigation; her full name was “Ilhan Nur Said Elmi.”

“It’s not looking good because she used a fake name to be sworn in; I assume she must immediately have to resign from Congress,” Trump said. “Please inform our great Speaker of the House of Representatives … Ilhan Nur Said Elmi, her real name, has openly admitted to fraud, and she will not be legally allowed to be a member of that august body. If you get sworn in with a false name, I would imagine that’s pretty tough.”

Of course, Omar has “admitted” to no such thing, and a spokesperson for the congresswoman told Fox News, “This is completely false; Ilhan Omar is her real name,” but that doesn’t matter. Trump just needed his bigoted base to hear the big, scary Muslim name someone likely made up, because tossing MAGA-red meat to rabid, xenophobic dogs is one of his go-to moves to fill the void left by his abject lack of actual substance.

Then there was the part where he defended Ohio gubernatorial candidate Vivek Ramaswamy, who has been dragged to hell and back for a mudslinging campaign ad that backfired spectacularly.

For those who missed it, Ramaswamy’s campaign released an ad featuring the estranged mother of his Democratic opponent, Amy Acton, who called her daughter a “liar” and urged Ohio voters not to support her in the election.

Now, Ramaswamy’s ad might have been a great, big punch in the gut to his Democratic opponent, if not for those pesky court documents that show Acton’s mother lost custody of Amy Acton and her brother after her stepfather was charged and arrested for sexually abusing her when she was 12 years old. Acton’s mother stood by her alleged child rapist husband, who pleaded not guilty, fled the state after posting bond, and was a fugitive until he died in 2004, while he was still married to the woman who allegedly let him sexually abuse her daughter.

And for someone who claims to be tired of people calling him a pedophile, Trump sure seems to be gung-ho about defending Ramaswamy and the accused pedophile he inadvertently aligned himself with.

“I told him to leave it up,” Trump said proudly, referring to the ad.

He also told reporters, “I’m defending it because I know that if the ad were about my mother, you would love every inch of it. The press has teamed up because he’s a Republican and they tried to make it like it’s a horrible thing.”

He seems to think these child rape allegations are something the “fake news” media made up when there was a whole-ass court case that the accused fled the state to avoid.

Or, I don’t know, maybe it’s a “birds of a feather” thing, and it’s Trump’s sympathy for fellow sex abusers that had him defending the ad in a mini-dissertation-sized social media post as well.

And, of course, no Trump rally would be complete without the president continuing his tired-ass lie about the 2020 election being rigged against him, as he claims he “won three times,” and muses about whether or not he can run again in 2028.

“I don’t know who’s gonna be your next president, and I think the law says I’m not allowed to run again,” he said. “I studied that phrase forever. One thing is different. They cheated us on the second one. And we won three times. I think I have the right to run again because they cheated. I want three wins, but I don’t want the results of the second.”

What Trump actually doesn’t want — what he never wants, really — are the results of reality.

And his cultists are no different.

Here’s Iowa candidate Joe Mitchell thanking “God” that Trump is “building a ballroom” and “getting rid of those awful bike lanes,” because “we don’t ride bicycles in Iowa” — you know, the state that sponsors one of the nation’s largest statewide bicycle riding events every single year.

Also, Mitchell presented Trump with a “Man of the Century award” as a consolation prize since “they’ve never given you the Nobel Peace Prize.”

Somewhere, the fine folks at FIFA are shaking their fists at Mitchell, sayin, “Hey, the Trump participation “peace prize” is our thing!”

And don’t get me started on Sen. Tim Scott, Trump’s favorite Black footrest, giving the crowd his cringe Black pastor routine, shouting, “This feels like God’s country. I’m talking about the king of kings and lord of loooords-ah!”

Look, just to show you how deep into the Sunken Place couch cushions Scott has sunk, here he is in his state of South Carolina, echoing white nationalist propaganda about Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed, claiming, based on zero evidence, that his mother was “part of the funding apparatus for Osama bin Laden.”

It’s like these people are determined to maintain their power by keeping the country as stupid as possible.

Sad.

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