Surviving Trump: Trump Begs Voters To Cheat, Implies Black People Hate America, And More [Op-Ed]

We’re back for another round of Surviving Trump, our column that tracks and reports a round-up of President Donald Trump’s latest lies, expressions of bigotry, and displays of incompetence. It’s a tedious job, but not a difficult one. It’s like finding a needle in a needle-stack.

Let’s get into it…

Trump Tells Republican Voters To Go Ahead And ‘Cheat Like Hell’

Trump’s “Trumpapalooza” event in Dallas was so rife with boats of corruption, dog-whistle racism, and general partisan delusion that we forgot to talk about a lot of it in our last couple of Surviving Trump round-ups. To be fair, the president’s attempt to bribe the U.S. populace with a $5,000 “dividend” payment to be released only if Republicans maintain their congressional majorities come the midterms was a big enough deal that it dominated the post-event news cycle, with people questioning the legality of such a bold promise, and even more people questioning how stupid a MAGA rube would have to be to believe that check will ever be in the mail.

Now, people across social media are highlighting another part of the president’s speech, in which he had his audience repeat a new pledge of allegiance, not to the United States of America, but to the “greatest president in the history of the United States,” which Don the Delusional seems to think is him — despite polls consistently indicating he’s the most unpopular president in the history of the United States.

“So please, raise your right hand: I pledge to the greatest president in the history of the United States,” Trump says as his crowd of totally-not-cultists follows his instructions.

At some point during the pledge — which was more of an impromptu ramble, as usual — the president directed Republican voters to repeat, “I don’t care if I’m registered or not, I’m going to try to cheat like hell like they do.”

So, Trump has spent the last six years lying about Democrats rigging elections against him and other Republicans just so he can use that propaganda to justify Republicans cheating because what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, only every relevant election official in the country, Trump’s own first administration, and dozens of state and federal courts have confirmed that the goose, in this case, never did any of the shit the gander has been whining about.

Sounds legit.

Trump Claims Trumpapalooza Was Bigger Than The NFL. Sir, Please Be For Real

Here’s a question: If Trump is so great, how come he has to constantly lie about how great he is?

For example, the president could have just held his desperate little beg-and-bribe-for-votes event without boasting about how widely it was viewed or would be, and maybe he could’ve saved a little face when it turned out the event’s viewership fell far short of expectations. At the very least, he could have refrained from comparing his viewership to that of the most watched professional sport in the U.S. Instead, in true Trump fashion, he took to his social media platform and claimed “the overall numbers” for his event “beat the NFL.”

Clearly, this president has learned nothing from that time Kid Rock and a bunch of whiny right-wingers tried to put on a MAGA concert that would compete with Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl Halftime Show, which, of course, it did not.

According to Reuters, the GOP’s midterm campaign rally drew about 2.5 million viewers on Fox News, the only major cable ​network to air the event in full. Reuters noted that ratings for the NFL season opener between the Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots, which coincided with the RNC convention, are not yet available, but the NFL averaged about 18 million viewers per game last season, and last year’s opener drew close to 28 million. So, for Trump’s little 2.5 million views to compete with the NFL’s opening night, that Patriots vs. Seahawks game would have had to underperform by about 25.5 million views.

If I were a betting man, I’d bet more than a $5,000 Trump IOU that when those NFL figures come out, they’ll show the president got his numbers from the same place he gets everything else: the TrustMeMAGABro database that exists in his probably demented mind.

Trump Implies Black People ‘Hate Our Country’ And ‘Want To Steal Your Money For Reparations’

As much as Trump loves to claim “Black people love me” when it’s convenient, put that man in front of a white audience full of bigots, who are foaming at the mouth for more of his out-in-the-open racism, and he will not hesitate to toss a fresh slab of raw meat to the racist wolves he relies on for relevance.

“They want to steal your money for reparations,” Trump said last week. “Our country doesn’t have that kind of money. They have the money for $5000 but they don’t have that kind of money. They want to give it to the people who hate our country.”

So, we don’t need to ask who he’s talking about, right? We can all agree that only one racial demographic in the U.S. has been at the center of the reparations debate, yes? We don’t need to do the thing where we argue with intentionally obtuse white people who will call us race-baiters because Trump didn’t actually say, “Black people hate our country,” correct?

Mind you, reparations hasn’t been a trending issue for at least the last several months. No prominent Democrats are campaigning on it. It’s almost as if Trump and the GOP understand that if they don’t have their culture war to latch on to, they don’t really have a political platform at all. They want us to stop calling them racist, but not so much that they’re willing to stop using racism to form their favorite rallying cries. It doesn’t work like that.

Trump Cultists Say Kennedy Center Will Be Bankrupt If Trump’s Name Isn’t Restored

Last month, we reported that Trump’s DOJ argued in a court filing that without the president’s support for renovating the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, including putting his name back on the building and grounds, the “decrepit, dilapidated, crumbling” venue “cannot be saved.” Well, according to documents obtained by The Washington Post, Trump’s hand-picked board at the Kennedy Center is bolstering the DOJ’s claim by arguing that the institution faces “certain fiscal collapse” unless the president’s name is added back to its facade. 

The Post reported that the warning appeared in a 57-page packet that was distributed to the Kennedy Center’s board of trustees ahead of a special meeting scheduled for Sept. 15. It claims that within the next few weeks, the center will lack to funds to pay employees or for maintenance costs, but, fear not, because it also claims Trump has “offered to step in and raise the necessary funds” to save the institution, even though, so far, his association with the Kennedy Center has done nothing but tank the institution’s ticket sales and cause a chorus line of musicians and other celebs to cancel their appearances.

Despite all the evidence to the contrary, these people really think their MAGA messiah is Jesus, which leads us to our final story…

The White House Credits Trump For Lack of Hurricanes

Apparently, the Atlantic has been unusually hurricane-free this hurricane season, which, of course, is good news, especially if you’re a MAGA devotee, in which case it’s not just good news; it’s a MAGA miracle that we all have Orange Jesus to thank for. In fact, the official Rapid Response 47 account tweeted as much over the weekend, posting, “Thank You, President Trump” in response to the announcement.

And before you ask, yes, his supporters are stupid and scientifically illiterate enough to believe their cult leader is a weather whisperer, or that he stopped the Democrats’ evil-not-to-mention-fictional weather machine.

One thing you have to give Trump is that he knows his audience. He doesn’t just love the poorly educated; he knows they are his political bread and butter.

Sad.

SEE ALSO:

Surviving Trump: Trump Colors His Hair, Lies About 9/11, And More

Trump Defends 9/11 Lie, Offers $5K Bribe If Republicans Win Midterms