Malcolm-Jamal Warner found his greatest role off-screen as a husband & father
“They are the best parts of my life, but I also like to keep their identity private,” Malcolm-Jamal Warner said of his wife and daughter.
Beyond his captivating acting skills and lyrical poetic abilities, Malcolm-Jamal Warner was a husband and father. Just as his talents brought joy to viewers across generations, Warner’s wife and daughter brought him immense joy. Though the actor never publicly posted their faces or names, he was not shy about talking about the impact fatherhood and marriage had on his life.
“I talk about my wife and daughter but obviously I don’t post them,” Warner said, per Essence Magazine. “I talk about them because they are obviously the hugest parts of my life, the best parts of my life, the best decisions I’ve ever made, but I also like to keep them and their identity private.”
In interviews and conversations on his podcast “Not All Hood,” Warner openly discussed his satisfaction in getting married and starting a family later in life. During an appearance on Melyssa Ford’s “Hot & Bothered” podcast, the actor revealed that he met his wife at 45 years old, at a time when he was “not really dating.”
“I remember our first date I was like, ‘I’m at peace with not having kids. I’m probably not going to have kids.’ During this period of time, doing all this self-reflection and whatnot, I thought maybe the next chapter of my life is something bigger than marriage and family,” he told Ford. “So I was ok with that. So our first date, I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m probably not going to have kids and she said, ‘I’m definitely going to have kids.’”
Deciding to move forward as friends, Warner explained how his mindset slowly began to shift, and five and a half months later, he asked the woman who would be his wife: “What do you think about starting a family?”
“At some point, I was like, if I’m going to have a kid, this is the person that I would want to have it with,” he shared. “I also realized that if something happened and we weren’t together romantically, she would still be the person I would want to raise a child with, co-parent with.”
Warner continued: “There was a moment I realized, when people say, ‘when you know you know,’ that’s what that feeling is. I had always heard that, and being in long-term relationships for so much of life, I always felt like ok, that’s a cool concept. But I had that experiential knowledge of when you know you know. This is it.”
And he did not regret starting his family later in life. In fact in an episode of his podcast “Not All Hood,” the actor shared “there is almost a relief that I waited as long as I did to get married and start a family.”
“It’s ok to wait. You don’t have to be in your 20s looking for your soulmate when you don’t really know who the f–k you are,” he noted, per Essence. “For so long, people were like he’s a womanizer. He’s never going to settle down. No, I did it when it was right. I did it the right way.”
Over the years, Warner has been very intentional about not posting or disclosing his daughter’s identity. While he shared subtle glimpses into his life as a father, he explained that his decision not to post her face was fueled by his desire to protect her.
“She has the rest of her life for that life. Right now I just want her to BE..but it doesn’t stop me from BEing a proud papa!” he captioned a 2019 Instagram post.
“Whatever ‘bigger than family’ ideas I had in my head before these two beautiful spirits came into my life are now fueled to be even bigger. Life is even more fulfilling,” he shared in a 2021 Instagram post reflecting fatherhood. “When people ask me how I’m doing, I often tell them that I am living the motherfucking dream. And on the days it doesn’t feel like it, I just remind myself that I’m still living SOMEBODY’s dream. And I press on. I am so FULL now. Of Love. Of joy. Of gratefulness”
So as the culture grieves the loss of the talented actor, our hearts go out to Warner’s wife and daughter.
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