Crypto Investors Fund Big, Gaudy, Golden Statue Of Trump Holding Bitcoin In Front Of The Capitol. But Why, Though?

Here’s a question: When did America become a cartoon?

Like — we are so unserious right now.

Apparently, South Park is actually a documentary.

At this point, real life will be predicting future episodes of The Simpsons instead of the other way around.

What the hell are we even doing here?

I mean, just look at this MAGA-fied nonsense…

*heavy negro spiritual sigh*

But why, though?

From Fox 5:

 A 12-foot golden statue of President Donald Trump holding a Bitcoin was installed outside the U.S. Capitol, coinciding with the Federal Reserve’s upcoming interest rate decision on Wednesday.

At 2 p.m., the Fed announced that it reduced its key interest rate by a quarter-point, marking the first cut since Dec. 2024. The cut will lower the short-term rate to about 4.1% down from 4.3%. Last year, the central bank lowered rates three times due to concerns that job growth was slowing and unemployment was rising.

The central bank also revealed plans for two more rate cuts this year. However, only one is anticipated in 2026, which might disappoint Wall Street, as they had expected five cuts by next year.

So, the Fed cut interest rates, only disappointing Wall Street a little bit, and for that, a giant, golden statue of Trump and his giant bitcoin was created in the president’s honor, and the eyesore was placed right in front of the U.S. Capitol. You know — that place where Trump’s propaganda inspired a domestic terrorist attack on Jan. 6, 2021.

The statue was reportedly funded by a group of crypto investors, who said the installation is “a tribute to Donald Trump’s vocal advocacy for cryptocurrency and serves as a provocative statement on the evolving landscape of digital finance.”

“The installation is designed to ignite conversation about the future of government-issued currency and is a symbol of the intersection between modern politics and financial innovation,” Hichem Zaghdoudi, a representative of the collective of crypto investors, said. “As the Federal Reserve shapes economic policy, we hope this statue prompts reflection on cryptocurrency’s growing influence.”

You know what? Fine. Whatever. I mean, the Bible-salesman-in-chief has already staged a Tesla infomercial at the White House and has spent his time in the Oval Office grifting his way into a profitable presidency. We might as well come full circle in sending the message that America has been bought and paid for by erecting a monument to Trump and the government’s role in unbridled capitalism. YAAAAY, OLIGARCHY!!!

At the very least, this can be one of the things we can point to when Trump supporters deny that they’re a cult.

Nah, bro — y’all are in a cult, and you’re about one more graven image away from rejecting your God for a golden calf.

But look, my MAGA mango Kool-Aid lovers, if you’re going to erect golden statues for your messiah, at least do a better job of it than this.

It doesn’t even really look like Trump. It looks like they aged the Bob’s Big Boy statue up about 50 years and hit it with the Midas touch.

And are we not going to acknowledge the glaring missed opportunity here? So, you’re just going to create a golden image of Trump and not include Trump’s golden and gaudy-ass shoes?

So, the Trump Taylors get no love? Are the Air Treasons already yesterday’s news? Who is responsible for this oversight — this failure to include Trump’s golden Adidas (All Day I Dream About Sedition) in the design?

Trump didn’t steal Homelander’s fashion sense just for it to be ignored like this.

Anyway, the installation is only up temporarily, according to Fox 5, although it’s unclear when it will be taken down. (NOW! Do it NOW! Nobody in D.C. asked for this, and if they did, THEY’RE IN A CULT!)

In the meantime, I guess this country of ours is just going to continue being a global embarrassment, accessorizing the idiocracy with big, ugly Trump-i-fied ornaments like this.

It’s all so dumb.

Welp, until the next episode….

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