Covfefe Chronicles | Ep. 12 – Donald Trump Wants to Know if He’s Going to Heaven

Donald Trump has started worrying about where he is going to spend eternity.

In a recent interview covered by HuffPost’s Brittany Wong, the 79-year-old mused aloud about heaven, salvation, and what his personal “report card” from God might look like. “I want to try and get to heaven, if possible,” Trump said. “But if I can save 7,000 people a week from being killed,” referring to his self-proclaimed ability to end the war in Ukraine, “that might help.” Then came the rest: “I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I’m really at the bottom of the totem pole. There’s some kind of report card up there someplace. If you don’t have heaven, why be good? I don’t think there’s anything going to get me in heaven. I really don’t.” On the surface, it’s the kind of morbid musing any elderly man might have when the mirror starts looking like an hourglass. But Trump’s words open a window into something deeper that the reporter missed. I’m talking about an entire worldview that has shaped American religion, politics, and race for centuries.

We need to cut through the soft psychology to get to the harder truth that Trump’s theology isn’t just personal. It’s cultural. It’s the gospel of white supremacy dressed in Sunday best. If you listen closely, you’ll hear how Trump’s obsession with scoring points for salvation mirrors the moral economy of white-supremacist Christianity, which is a faith tradition that long ago fused spiritual worth with power, wealth, and control.

The same mindset that sees heaven as a gated community has long shaped the nation’s politics. The same logic that justified colonialism and genocide still echoes in the way power defines goodness in America today. So when Trump wonders if he’s “good enough” for heaven, the real question becomes: whose definition of “good” is he using? The one built on justice and humility, or the one built on hierarchy and self-preservation?

Trump’s theology isn’t just bad religion. It’s the spiritual grammar of empire. And in a nation still worshiping success over mercy, wealth over wisdom, and whiteness over worth, his anxiety about heaven might be the most honest sermon America’s ever preached.